Does Therapy Actually Help? Understanding How Change Happens
Many people think about starting therapy and immediately feel uncertain. You might wonder if talking will really help, whether you’ll have to revisit painful experiences, or if therapy will actually change anything.
These questions make sense. Therapy is an investment, and it’s important to understand what you’re stepping into.
Therapy Isn’t Just Talking About the Past
One common misconception is that therapy means endlessly talking about your past. In reality, we explore past experiences only when doing so helps explain what’s happening in the present.
Often, therapy focuses on recognizing patterns, emotional, relational, or behavioral, that keep repeating despite your best efforts. The goal is not to dwell, but to understand why certain situations trigger strong reactions and how those responses developed.
Replacing Shame With Curiosity
Many people come to therapy feeling frustrated or ashamed of patterns they can’t seem to change. In therapy, we work to shift from self-criticism toward curiosity.
Most coping strategies developed for a reason. At some point, they helped you survive or adapt. Understanding this allows us to explore what’s happening without judgment and to consider whether those strategies still fit your life now.
How EMDR Can Help
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is one approach I use to help the brain process experiences that remain emotionally “stuck.”
EMDR can help connect present-day triggers to earlier experiences and the beliefs that formed at the time; beliefs like “I’m not good enough” or “I’m unsafe.” These beliefs are often paired with intense emotions and physical sensations in the body.
Through EMDR, the brain can reprocess these experiences so they are remembered without being relived. This doesn’t mean reframing painful events as positive. Instead, the goal is to move toward more adaptive beliefs that feel true in the present, such as “I did the best I could” or “I have choices now.” You can learn more about EMDR here.
Learning to Regulate in Daily Life
Therapy also focuses on building practical skills for managing stress and emotional overwhelm. This includes learning ways to regulate your nervous system in real time.
For example, if certain environments or situations consistently trigger anxiety, therapy can help you recognize what’s happening and use grounding or calming strategies to move through the experience more comfortably.
When triggers take less energy to manage, many people find they have more capacity for connection, creativity, and daily life.
Therapy Is a Collaborative Process
Therapy is a partnership. You always have choice and control over what you share and when. Feedback is welcome, and we work together to understand what’s helpful and what isn’t.
At its core, therapy helps you understand what’s draining your energy, recognize patterns that no longer serve you, and develop new ways of responding that align with how you want to live now.
Reach Out Today
Learn more about my therapy practice and reach out to schedule a free 15 to 30 minute consultation. Email me with your availability and we can find a time to connect at kristen@kristenhornung.com or call me at (619) 202-1481