Understanding Attachment and Relational Patterns

Have you questioned if you experience attachment insecurity, or even labeled yourself as avoidant or anxiously attached? Do you want support understanding why you respond to conflict or closeness the way you do? Would you like help identifying your relationship needs, expressing yourself, or with learning different ways to set boundaries? If so, then you’ve come to the right place.

Now that attachment theory has become more mainstream, it’s common for me to meet people who have labeled themselves (or been labeled by others) as having a certain attachment style. I have some reservations about how attachment can be weaponized when people are experiencing relational conflict. Attachment styles can fluctuate over time. Stress and other contextual factors can impact attachment functioning.

Attachment wounds can show up in many ways, including over-functioning, people-pleasing, fear of closeness or abandonment, difficulty trusting others, or a strong sense of responsibility for others’ emotions. These patterns often develop in response to early relational experiences and may be closely intertwined with trauma or adverse childhood experiences, even when no single event stands out.

Attachment-Informed Therapy

My work is trauma-informed, attachment-aware, and grounded in depth-oriented psychotherapy. Rather than focusing on rigid attachment labels, we approach these patterns with curiosity and compassion, exploring how they developed, what they once protected, and how they may be shifting now. When appropriate, I integrate EMDR to help process relational experiences that remain emotionally charged or “stuck.”

I often help people learn and practice skills in therapy that support attachment security, including: emotion identification, emotion regulation, assertive communication, validation, boundary awareness and boundary setting, and conflict resolution skills.

Attachment work often overlaps with identity exploration and differentiation, such as navigating family or cultural expectations, religious deconstruction, or changes in sexuality or self-understanding. To read more about how I support people with identity exploration, creativity, and self-expression, navigate here.

Getting Started

Reach out today to schedule a free 15 to 30 minute consultation: Let’s see if we’re a good fit! Email me with your availability at kristen@kristenhornung.com and we can find a time to connect. You may also leave me a message by calling (619) 202-1481